I am letting my neck reveal my age.

I have insomnia. It's a real pain in the ass, for sure. But one thing I have learned from many a late night is that there are some really crazy shows on late-night television. Can you say Skin-A-Max?!?

Anyway, moving on. There are also a shitload of infomercials late at night. One of the most prevalent ones that I have tuned into is "Don't Let Your Neck Reveal Your Age"!! I cannot stop myself from watching it. It's like a sickness. And while I am happy for the ladies who went from having their chins lying atop their bosom, to having 'the neck they had 20 years ago'... I just want to scream at the TV. And I do. And it sounds a little something like this...

Honey, it's not my neck that reveals my age. It's the direction my boobs have started to point toward in the last 5 years. It's the child living under my roof. It's the gray hair that refuses to be covered by monthly hair dye touch-ups. It's the wrinkles in my forehead that are so gigantic that you could hold a pencil in the folds. It's the reason I may or may not have to go change my underpants after a particularly violent cough and/or sneeze. And then... I stop yelling, because this is usually around the time that my husband wakes up and tells me to stop being a crazy person and that he needs to be up in 3 hours to go to work.

So then I go back to reading my book or watching a show that requires less yelling from me. Like... Spongebob or Alf. 

Do you have insomnia and a love of watching infomercials? Seen any good ones lately?